I hate when people leave time on the microwave after they take their food out. You couldn’t wait those final 23 seconds for your Lean Cuisine? You also couldn’t hit clear? Awesome.

Do we really only have the powdered non-dairy creamer for the coffee? Not even real milk? That’s terrible.

Half the people there smelled like cigarettes all day long. HOW DO PEOPLE STILL SMOKE??

So very much nose hair.

I worked with a woman over 300lbs who regularly wore a big purple shirt. Naturally, she was dubbed Barney. There was a closet behind my desk. While she was expecting, 2-3 times a day Barney would go into this closet and pump her breast milk. I still have nightmares about that pumping sound and the image.

Because I worked 6 hour shifts, and would only get 15 minute breaks if I was lucky. I’m hungry, and that’s illegal.

Morning meetings at 7:30am. I’m still sleepwalking, do you think I’m going to remember any of this?

I get that old, fat, uneducated (or any combination thereof) people feel threatened by those of us that can not be described by such adjectives. However, instead of putting your big bag of bullshit off on others to carry, why don’t you get a facelift, hop on the treadmill, and take a class?

Dear girl who used to sit next to me…stop slurping your coffee/tea and wait for your drink to cool before taking a sip. You were obnoxious.

What. The Fuck. Does “Ping” mean? And why do you keep telling me to “ping” people?